.Saturday, July 28, 2018 ' 1:34 AM Y
I woke up early at 7.30am and not able to go to sleep. Husband had to go for work. Drank a glass of water as soon as i woke up. I feel my eyes are still swollen from crying yesterday. Had a mental breakdown thinking about working. I've decided to end my job as i find it not suitable to my capabilities. I know i need money to support myself, my husband for paying the house and contributing to my parents. I feel really depressed at the thought of working with people who i cannot seem to bond with. I'm very quiet at my workplace as i don't know what to say to them except for work related matters. I'm surrounded by chinese and malay teachers and i feel really pressured at the thought of what they think of me.
From today onwards, I've decided to challenge my thoughts whenever i'm upset and having negative thoughts. Think of positive things and remember about happy moments. Im learning to picture happy thoughts by looking at old pictures and videos which make me happy. It's ok that i'm quitting the job. I would find other ways to have some income. I'm getting myself to be close to Allah and i believe that i will continue to make doas for life to get better. InshaaAllah.
May Allah makes my heart pure and be grateful with whatever that i have. I love you Allah. May the Greatest Allah protects me in life as he has the power.
Today, i had my dental appointment with Dr Alvin at 11am. Arrived late so i decided to inform them.It's quite painful as he really tightened my braces and bond the bracket to make sure that the alignment gets better. Updates! Good news he mentioned that i would be able to remove my braces in 6 months time. I've also settled the payment for my braces which costs me $3500. Wow! I can't believe I've managed to pay that amount. I would need to pay $2300 for my tooth implant. May need to pay about $250 per month. Deep breath and exhale! Take it slowly.. Think positive! Will find way on how to raise that amount of money. May Allah grant ease to me, husband and family in having a smooth life journey. Amin!!
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