.Saturday, May 20, 2017 ' 10:53 PM Y
Hello!
Work as a childcare teacher
Recently, I just left my job as a childcare teacher. I must say the school offered me good salary but the workload was a bit too much for me to take.
I always went back home feeling stressed about children, paperwork and colleagues. I can't fit well in the group as I don't feel comfortable. Most of the time I spend my lunch alone. On some other days, I will join them for lunch. I feel down every single day. Depression hits me. I'll cry thinking about how I can't be happy in life.
It was challenging to handle children as they would run around and not following. I could not build good relationship with my colleagues due to me often being absent from school. This is because there are days when I feel terrible, depressed that I would not want to do anything. When I first started the job, my mentor teacher was not as supportive and kept picking on my wrongdoings. Being a perfectionist, I could not accept and kept feeling demoralised.
I started to isolate myself from the other teachers, I kept thinking that they would not be able to accept me. I can't bring myself to make conversation with them every single day. I will kept silence and if they approached me I responded with a sentence or two. I would often said 'oh ok' when being asked to perform any tasks such as "Shikin, update attendance book." Then, I'll go like "oh ok".
During children's nap time, I had difficulty in putting them to sleep and I'll be questioned on why they are not sleeping. Other teachers could easily get their children to sleep. sigh. Don't know why it's hard for me to do that. I felt lonely as I will buy my lunch alone and walk around by myself. I will get anxious when people looked at me. I kept having this thoughts that people don't like me.
"It's hard to please people and I can't make people to like me. I've to start making myself happy and like myself. "
Anyway, I've left the job which makes me feel lonely every single day. I'm glad that I do still have my husband, parents and family who stay by my side.
I don't wish to be a teacher anymore. It's so stressful and I'd like to strike a work life balance. I'll need to work on dealing with stress and building relationship with people.
Faith in Allah. Confidence. Communication. Happiness. Patience and perseverance. Keep trying attitude.
I will have to plan new things for my life. Things happen for a reason. It makes me closer to Allah. I believe that there will be a better plan for me. Insyaa Allah.
Love,
Shikin
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